I cannot stop staring. He is too attractive.
I do not know his name yet, but this guy who just moved in next door is making me drool. He is tall, dark, and handsome. He has a chiseled face and the most sexy five-o’clock shadow I have ever seen. It is as if his body has been computer programmed.
I clamber to the window to watch him as he pulls more and more furniture into his new place. He is carrying in a refrigerator. Now a couch.
The muscles. Oh, the muscles.
I was suddenly hit with the urge to do the unthinkable. I am going to go talk to him.
I have to make sure I am ready first! I walk to the bathroom and take a shower. It is exactly five minutes long. And now I need to put more make-up on. No, and a new hair style! A new color, too?
Yes, yes. This looks good. Luckily it only took me about 30 seconds to completely alter my physical appearance.
It is now time to make my way over. I’m a very quick walker, so getting there will take not time at— Oh, look, I’m here!
Well, the door is open. I may as well just let myself in.
Time to say hello.
I am not quite sure what is happening. As I open my mouth to speak, the sounds that are flowing out are not English. It must be his overbearing sexiness that is causing my mind to go numb and for these sounds to come out. I’m making a fool of myself!
“Hi, nice to meet you. I’m Feliciano Cumming.”
He understands me?! I can hardly believe it! Apparently he speaks the same kind of gibberish that I do. Man, am I turned on.
I am trying to make small talk but I soon realize the fate of our relationship lays on my next move. I can either be funny for 30 seconds, or be nice for one minute.
What to do, what to do. I have to think fast!
What if I tell a joke and he does not laugh? But on the other hand, what if I am too nice and he gets bored and disinterested?
The clock is ticking. It’s now or never.
I tell a joke.
We are now acquaintances.